Worry

I read a great post by a blogger that I love to read. She wrote about the one thing that mothers, in particular, do incredibly well, yet don't really need to do. And that one thing is worry. Her post has been on my mind a lot today - especially as I have thought about all the things I worry about. I'm trying so hard to balance all the hats in my life - wife, mom, teacher, friend - and I feel like most of the time I am an utter failure. My job demands incredible hours and energy of me and I'm still trying to balance soccer, music conservatory, household things and everything else. I spend hours every day worrying if my kids have gotten themselves up and out for school, if online schooling was really the right decision for JAD, if I'm going to get my kids to their practices on time, if I'll have enough time to have even a 5 minute conversation with K, if I can stay awake long enough to grade some papers and the list goes on and on. And what has all this worry gotten me? Panic/freak out attacks at home and school, an overwhelming sense that I suck, and pretty much nothing else. But what is reality? My kids are actually pretty well-rounded, kind children who have good heads on their shoulders. They are creative, funny, smart, generous people who make this world a better place to be in. Am I going to worry any less? Maybe, but I wouldn't count on it just yet. It's a growing process, after all.